The custody system silenced us.
Together, we won't stay quiet.
Across the country, survivors of domestic abuse are dismissed in custody evaluations, their fear reframed as "conflict," their children's voices ignored, while evaluators default to 50-50 and the red flags go unread. This is where we say it out loud, together.
Why this movement exists
Like the movements before us, our power is in numbers. One story can be dismissed. Thousands cannot. The pattern below is documented, not anecdotal.
More likely to lose custody
When mothers report abuse and fathers cross-claim "parental alienation," mothers lose custody about twice as often (Meier et al., 2019).
Wrongly assumed false
Custody evaluators in a U.S. DOJ study believed roughly a quarter of mothers' abuse allegations were false, far above what research supports (Saunders, 2012).
Children killed since 2008
Murdered by a divorcing or separating parent, many after courts ignored warnings (Center for Judicial Excellence).
What we stand for
A fair evaluation should protect children first. We are demanding exactly that.
- Evaluators must be trained in domestic violence, coercive control, and child trauma.
- Reporting abuse is not "alienation." Protective parents must not be punished for protecting.
- Children's fears must be heard, documented, and weighed, not dismissed as coaching.
- Safety comes before the convenience of a 50-50 default.
- Survivors deserve to be believed, not silenced, in the room where their family's future is decided.
Voices from the movement
Real patterns, told in people's own words. (Examples below are illustrative until community stories are published.)
You are not alone, and your voice matters
Whether you share anonymously or by name, your story helps expose a pattern that thrives in silence.